My Number #1 Tip For Writers: Self-Compassion

No one said being a screenwriter was going to be easy. This career is full of rejection, constant scrutiny, and endless submissions and general meetings. Not to mention the need for never-ending persistence and self-motivation. 

It’s a lot, and it all adds up. The daily frustrations of being a screenwriter can turn even the most positive person into a jaded, depressed, obsessive perfectionist. 

Which is why self care is so important; and no, I’m not talking about meditation, taking a bath, or getting a pedicure (even though those are all good things, which I personally enjoy). I’m talking about screenwriter specific self care that might help you get past a case of writers block, give you a much needed boost of enthusiasm for your script, or reinstall a sense of confidence that you CAN achieve your screenwriting goals even though at times it might feel impossible.

Here are 5 tips on ‘screenwriter self care’ that might just make you a more sane (and dare I say happier) screenwriter: 

1. Celebrate every win

One way to avoid feeling like a failure amidst all of the daily ‘screenwriter drudgeries’ is to celebrate every single win. Whether it’s something small, like writing five pages a day, or something big, like signing with a rep or selling your show - celebrate it all. The way you celebrate doesn’t have to be expensive or overly extravagant either. If you’ve had a successful writing day, maybe buy yourself a cookie or take a leisurely sunset stroll around the block. Also, if you’re feeling, ‘strapped’ for wins - try hauling out one of your old scripts and comparing it to your new scripts. Seeing how much you’ve grown as a writer over the years is definitely cause to celebrate. 

2. Get out of the comparison trap

If you’re feeling terrible about your career, I highly suggest taking a social media break. Remember, people tend to post their best selves on Instagram and Facebook - which means an ‘innocent scroll’ can easily turn into ‘everyone is better than me.’ Whether it’s comparing yourself to your screenwriting peers, people your age who have more success than you, or even reading a fantastic script on the Blacklist and feeling like your work will never measure up. Stop! It might sound a little woo woo, but your life and your career are your journey. Get out of the comparison trap and focus on your own path. The stories you have to tell are just as valuable and unique as anyone else’s.

3. Step away from Final Draft

Phoebe Waller-Bridge has a great piece of advice for anyone in a creative rut: “Read, walk around, get out of bed, and call someone you can complain about your rut to”. If you have writers block, or are just feeling unmotivated, sometimes the best thing to do is step away from the computer and do ANYTHING but write. Read a book that has absolutely nothing to do with your career, get outside and go for a hike, or vent to someone who loves you and is willing to listen. It will give you a much needed breather to reset your focus and creativity - plus, you would be surprised how many unexpected creative ideas pop into your head when you’re going for a long drive, baking cookies, or having a shower.

4. Look at what’s working

If you’re hitting a wall with your latest script, take a beat to stop looking at what’s wrong with it and reflect on what’s working really well. Every screenplay has strengths and weaknesses. If you’re feeling bad about your scene descriptions, maybe your dialogue flows effortlessly. You might be struggling with structure, but maybe you’ve written incredibly developed, dynamic characters. Finding the strengths in your story can help you muster up the motivation to tackle your script’s challenges.

5. Be nice

A lot of writers get into a self loathing spiral when they read over their own work. They cringe at how awful it is, how talentless they feel they are, and how they’ll never be successful. If this is you, next time you reread your screenplay try being nice to yourself for a change. If you were giving feedback to someone else who wrote the same script, would you give them the same biting feedback you’re giving to yourself? Ripping yourself to shreds is going to do nothing but make you feel awful, which will probably lead to procrastination and maybe even discourage you from writing altogether. So try to be ‘constructively critical’ instead of a ruthless perfectionist. Next time you’re re-reading your script and you’ve got plenty of  “harsh notes” for yourself, imagine you’re giving notes to your best friend, who you love and respect. Take those thoughts to heart. Sometimes it can feel impossible, but do your best to treat your ‘writer self’ with care, and objectivity.

What kind of ‘screenwriter self-care’ works for you? Let me know @CaroleKirsch!