GTFU, Part One: Time Sucks & Energy Vampires
Intro - Get the F*ck Unstuck ©
This is the first in a series of articles called "Get the F*ck Unstuck," based on my popular workshop of same name. I've been teaching workshops for over twenty years, on a wide variety of subjects, but "GTFU" is my absolute favorite. I love teaching it, because I've seen it make a huge impact on the lives of all kinds of creative professionals, at all different points in their careers.
As you can guess from the title, the workshop and the articles are all about getting "un-stuck" -- in other words, breaking through the barriers that are holding you back from achieving your goals. I've seen this process help many, many people over the years; but the first person I ever helped to get the fuck unstuck... was myself.
There was a time in my professional life where things were not going the way I wanted them to. I was frustrated with Hollywood, and angry at myself. I'd set goals, and then watch, year after year, as I didn't achieve them. I thought I was lazy, unlucky or a loser. But today, I feel like the most fortunate woman in show business. I love my life, professional and personal, and a big reason for that is I got the fuck unstuck.
And, if you do the work, you can, too.
A Step-By-Step Process
Through working with my coaching clients, working with a coach myself, running workshops, taking workshops from others, and just plain trial-and-error, I've distilled the process of breaking through barriers into a straightforward 10-part program. In this series, I'll walk you through five of those steps, piece-by-piece, in plenty of detail, so you'll be able to put them into practice right away.
We'll start with two steps focused on getting clear on how you're currently spending your time and attention. Then we'll tackle two more steps that deal with getting clear on where you're spending your creative energy -- a part of which will be talking about emotions, especially fear. The fifth and final step will be about making a specific and actionable plan to help you put the first four steps into practice.
Focus on What You Can Change
Clients of mine who are stuck typically tell me they feel like they "don't have enough time." I think everyone who does creative work has probably felt this way at some point in their careers. I frequently hear things like, "by the time I really get rolling on my work, I get called away to do something else." Or, "my attention is split between so many different things, it's hard to make progress."
I've learned that when clients feel like their time and attention are being pulled in different directions, a part of that is non-negotiable real-life responsibilities; but also, quite often, at least some of their time is being spent on less important distractions, things that seem to expand to fill the time they could otherwise be working.
If you're feeling stuck, it's likely this is true of you, as well. There are likely many different things taking up the time you'd like to be spending moving toward your goals. Before you can get past these roadblocks, though, you need to know what they are. That's why the first practical step toward getting unstuck is to increase your awareness of where you're spending your time and energy.
Time Sucks and Energy Vampires
I like to call these roadblocks "Time Sucks and Energy Vampires." (I borrowed the term 'Energy Vampire' from my dear friend and Showrunner Training Program colleague, Yvette Lee Bowser. Thanks Yvette!) Time Sucks and Energy Vampires are practical things in your life that get in the way of you having the space to focus on what’s really important. Identifying and navigating past Time Sucks and Energy Vampires can be the difference between just talking about a goal for five years and actually achieving it.
Some people think that they're so busy, they can't even to bother with this exercise. They're completely overwhelmed with responsibility, and feel intuitively that they'll never find any time. While I empathize, I think skipping this exercise is a mistake. In fact, the busier and more complicated your life is, the more worthwhile you'll likely find it!
Of course, at least some of the things you'll identify as taking up your time are positive parts of your life that you won't want to simply abandon. However, if you look closely, you'll often find that within the important parts of your life, you'll still find places where you're spending energy in ways that don't really serve you. And, if you're able to really be honest with yourself, you might realize there are other areas, maybe involving habits or parts of your personality that you're not so thrilled about, that represent powerful opportunities for growth and taking control of your time.
Case Study: Carole Kirschner
Personally, one of the moments I came face to face with my own Time Sucks and Energy Vampires was writing my first book, Hollywood Game Plan. I've worked with hundreds, maybe thousands of writers over the years, but that doesn't mean writing comes easily to me! Writing that book was a huge challenge, and took much longer than I thought it would. When I'd blown way past my deadline, and my publisher was breathing down my neck, I needed to get past the things that were sapping my time and energy.
But, in a familiar story, initially I didn't even know what those things were! So, despite my passed deadline, I took a short break from the grind of writing, stepped back, and looked closely at where I was spending my time.
For me, it was a couple of things. The first was family responsibilities. I have a husband and my daughter was a teenager at the time. They often – okay, it felt like always – had things they needed me to do for them. I love my family and I wouldn’t have it any other way, but the truth is, I was spending a lot of time taking care of their needs, rather than focusing on the book.
Next was the practical demands of my major consulting clients: the CBS Diversity Writers Mentoring Program that I created and still run, and the Writers Guild of America Showrunner Training Program that I run. I am so grateful that I get to be involved in these truly amazing programs that help so many people, but preparing and putting on the Programs is incredibly time consuming. Again, I thank the universe, I wouldn’t have it any other way, but it was a factor in my being stuck with writing the book.
Being honest with myself, I knew I could look even deeper. After some real self-reflection, I had to admit -- and I’m kind of embarrassed to say this -- I was pretty disorganized. I was constantly trying to “clean up my office” and feeling bad because it was so cluttered and chaotic. I wasted a lot of time tidying up, only to have it be just as messy in a few days.
It may sound counterintuitive, but laying out just these three big elements, seeing them written down, brought me an unexpected sense of relief and control. I hadn't solved my problems, yet. But I'd taken a simple but significant step towards understanding them, and that alone was truly helpful.
Exercise: Identifying Your Time Sucks and Energy Vampires
Step One
Download and print the PDF worksheet, or simply open a new document and write, in a vertical column, the numbers 1 through 10. Then, list every obligation you have in your life at this moment. Jot down each one. If it’s less than ten, that’s fine (although you may be forgetting some things) and if it’s more than 10 that’s fine too. (The worksheet has a second page with additional blanks to accommodate this.)
Step Two
Now, next to each item, write down how long you think each one takes, in any given day. If you only take care of your niece on Friday afternoons, write down “Niece: 2 hours” Be generous. Almost everyone underestimates how long a task will take. I know I did. So, for each item, err on the higher side, and then add 15 or so minutes. (Note: this isn't crucial, but writing 2.5 hours or 3.75 hours, rather than 2:30 or 3:45, might make the math in the next step easier.)
Step Three
When that's done -- and here’s where the rubber meets the road -- add up all the hours and minutes.
What does your total look like? If you’re like me, when I added it all up, I needed about 28 hours in a day to get everything I thought I “should do” done. That was eye opening. I had so many other things I had to do, I truly didn’t have five minutes in a day to work on the book.
When you figure in the time it takes to work, eat 3 meals, commute (once we all start commuting again), and get a reasonable amount of sleep, is there really enough time in the day to do what you need to do to achieve your goals?
Since I didn’t have 28 hours in a day, I had to figure out what I could eliminate or reduce. So that’s the next part of this exercise.
Step Four
Go down your list and star or highlight everything that someone else -- a family member, a friend, an assistant you can hire -- could, in theory, take off your plate. Don't worry about actually making this change, yet – we’ll talk about that in a later article. For now, just star or highlight any item another person could potentially be doing on your behalf.
Step Five
Go through the list again, this time adding up the total time for just the items you didn't star or highlight. This will give you a new, smaller total number of hours.
Step Six
Now, honestly reflect. If you moved from the first total time to the second, how would your life change? Is there now time in your day to add, say, 30 minutes or an hour to actually work on your goals? A new script, writing and shooting a webseries, creating and producing a podcast, etc?
Time is our greatest gift and it’s finite.
That's it for this first (and longest!) article in this five-part series. Next week we'll introduce a second exercise that will tackle this same subject (how you're currently spending your time) in more granular detail.
The Seminar
The content of this series of articles is drawn from one of my most popular worship series, Getting the F*CK Unstuck©. I'm excited to announce that, In August 2021, I'll be offering this workshop over Zoom for the first time. If you're interested, click here for more details. Have a look at my free e-book, Telling Your Story In 60 Seconds. And, if you think you'd benefit from one-on-one coaching with me, I'd love to connect with you. You can find more information on my private coaching packages here.
