Calling all Introverts! 6 Tips for Creating *Authentic* Career Relationships

Writers in Hollywood are not lacking in work ethic. If you’re a professional screenwriter chances are you have detailed ‘to do’ lists, write 5-7 days a week, and have goals set from now until 2035. All of that drive is great, but if you’re spending all of your time holed up in front of your laptop perfecting your scripts, you may be missing out on a major key to screenwriting success: mutually beneficial relationships.

If you're an introvert, like a lot of screenwriters I know, I'm willing to bet the biggest career challenge you face isn't the actual writing part. It's the 'find and foster relationships that can help enhance their career’ part.

Here are 6 tips on how to get up the courage (and confidence) to go out in the world and connect with people in a way that feels good (yes, it’s possible):

1. Start small

Part of the magic of Hollywood is you never know where and when you’ll make your next great career connection. Sure, there are the professional avenues like film festivals, industry parties, and WGA events. But sometimes the best connections can be had when you least expect it (and when you’re not expecting it, you’re usually much less nervous). One writer I know met her manager at an impromptu pool party on a hot LA day. Another met a producer she’s been dying to work with when she “stopped by” her neighbor’s BBQ. So, with that in mind, if the idea of meeting people at formal networking events gives you hives, start small. Try working in a coffee shop that’s a popular ‘industry hang out’ just to practice being in a social space. Or if a friend invites you to their birthday party, swing by and promise yourself you’ll stay for at least an hour – and talk to two people you don’t know, even if it’s just for 5 minutes. The more you make socializing a regular part of your routine, the less daunting it will be when you do have a big industry event to go to (and you never know who you’ll meet at that coffee shop or birthday party).

2. Breath and psych yourself up

If you’re an introvert, social situations can be exhausting. So, if you know you have an industry event (or during these times, a WGA picket to go to!), give yourself the best chance of success by resting and recharging beforehand. Schedule a bit of time to take a nap, meditate (if that’s your thing), or just read a chapter of your favorite book in a quiet room. Then, psych yourself up a bit: Try a few power poses (yes they feel silly, but they can work!), or listen to your favorite music as you get dressed. Maybe dance a little. You’ll give yourself the best chance of a great first impression if you take care of yourself first. (Also, at the risk of sounding like your Jewish mother, it doesn’t hurt to look your best… it helps with confidence.)

3. Take a friend

If the thought of socializing alone is daunting, ask an extroverted friend to come along. Just make sure they know your goals before you go and ask them to help you start conversations and stay engaged. This gives you the best of both worlds: an opportunity to connect with new people in the industry and time to hang out with a friend who can help keep things flowing if your energy and confidence starts to dip. But make sure, once you’re on your way in a conversation, they step away for a bit, so you can carry on and make a solo personal connection.

4. Be a person first and a writer second

Once you’re in a social situation, don’t overthink it. Just have something in your hand – a drink, an appetizer - and be approachable and conversational (if you brought a friend all the better). Then mingle. Be social. Just keep in mind, once you’re in a conversation, be a person first and a screenwriter second. Ask them about themselves. Make the conversation 70% about them and 30% about you. People want to work with other PEOPLE, so no need to lead with the fact that you’re a screenwriter or toss out rapid loglines for your projects. Wait for them to ask you what you do. Trust me, they will (without fail, nearly every person you speak to at any kind of social event in Hollywood will ask you what you do, what you like to write, or where you’re from). That said, when they finally do ask what you do - or you’ve found a subtle way to make that segue - make sure you’re prepared…

5. Practice your personal story

Have a compelling 30-second or one-minute story already prepared and practiced (see my post on creating a killer Personal Logline). Knowing your story can help you feel comfortable when the ‘conversation spotlight’ gets turned on you. So make sure you have it down before you step out the door... but without sounding robotic.

6. Give yourself an achievable goal

Whether you’re attending a friend’s dinner party or going to the Golden Globes, make it a small personal goal to connect with two new people at any event. Once you do that, you can count the night a success no matter what happens because you pushed yourself past your comfort zone. But remember: the only way to foster new career relationships is to follow through. If you do make a genuine connection with someone, get their contact info and follow up (asking for their Instagram handle is a great, low-key way to stay connected). Reach out and ask them to grab coffee, drinks, or a lunch and keep growing the relationship. But if they don’t respond, don’t be desperate, just move on.

This business is all about who you know. So take a leap! Step away from your laptop and use some of these tips to start developing new relationships. You never know who’s going to help you get to the top... or help you move into your new apartment.

Are you an introvert? What are your best tips for connecting in Hollywood? Let me know @CaroleKirsch!

For more industry info and tips check out these additional resources:

For the ultimate guide to pitching a TV show that sells, check out my e-book, The Ultimate Guide to a Killer Pitch

To learn how to create your “personal logline” read my free e-book, Tell Your Story in 60 Seconds.

For my in-depth video course on breaking into the business go to: Carole Kirschner’s Hollywood Boot Camp.

And you can find my book, Hollywood Game Plan on Amazon or at Michael Wiese Productions (MWP).